My 2013 NFL Draft Edition. SPOILER ALERT: I whine about my team & suggest that their owner should perform fellatio on custodial staff.
“J-E-S-T! JEST! JEST! JEST!”
I spent Sunday morning nursing a particularly vicious sinus headache. With my mood already a steaming pile of dog crap, the news reached the intertubes: My beloved New York Jets traded star cornerback Darrelle Revis to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for a first round draft pick this coming weekend.
I understand the logic behind the trade. That doesn’t mean I have to like it.
Revis is arguably the best defensive player in the NFL. A healthy Darrelle Revis takes away half the field from opposing quarterbacks. Revis’ recent injuries were a big part of the equation.
Unfortunately, another profound part of the equation is the mouth of Jets principal owner Woody Johnson. In recent memory, this particular mouth has opened and had sound come forth from its maw, virtually saying things like:
“Hey, Mike [Tannenbaum], sign Mark fucking Sanchez to a long term contract,”
“Hey, Mike [Tannenbaum], I want you to make a splash and trade for Tim fucking Tebow,”
“Hey, Mike [Tannenbaum], Sanchez and Tebow were both bad ideas. You’re fucking fired,”
“Hey, [Media], the Jets are looking to the future. So fuck Darrelle Revis.”
The 9th and 13th picks in the first round of the 2013 NFL Draft, which begins this Thursday, belong to the Jets. Regardless of their draft results, they will begin 2013 with Mark Sanchez as their starting quarterback, and without the services of Darrelle Revis.
I suppose a 9-7 record is now just a fairy tale that idiot fans like myself sustain our hope with.
My new hope? That the next time “activist” owner Woody Johnson opens his mouth, it’s to blow a bunch of Tri-State area janitors. Hard.
The following comment was offered to me Monday morning by my boss, who is a die-hard Cleveland Browns fan:
“Seriously, Gags, you want to complain to me about Mark Sanchez? Here’s what I’ve been dealing with.”
Then he showed me this picture:
Sometimes, perspective is a good thing.
© 2013 Michael J. Gagliano
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